{"id":1822,"date":"2023-06-11T17:26:13","date_gmt":"2023-06-11T22:26:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lea-lee.love\/?p=1822"},"modified":"2024-10-21T13:00:34","modified_gmt":"2024-10-21T18:00:34","slug":"the-complex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elaine.baby\/?p=1822","title":{"rendered":"The Complex"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n

Thanking and tipping the valet two hundred dollars, I turned towards \u201cthe complex.\u201d  Nowhere in the sizable body of literature was it referred to as a mere building. \u201cThe stately complex that overlooked\u201d a fucking parking garage.<\/p>

\u201cYour daughter?\u201d the concierge asked.<\/p>

\u201cNo, the girl from Poltergeist. We\u2019re fucking.\u201d I studied the man\u2019s non-plussed features. \u201cI\u2019m joking I don\u2019t even see a girl.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cBehind you.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYeah, we actually are fucking,” I answered with a smile. “How old do I look?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cDoes your partner have a pass?\u201d he asked.<\/p>

\u201cExcuse me?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cDo you have a pass? If not, she may wait for you to obtain one. First floor of the complex, right then left.\u201d<\/p>

I held my arm out to Daphne.<\/p>

\u201cShe may wait,\u201d the concierge repeated.<\/p>

I had expected an arboretum or perhaps a plaque commemorating some event or listing a group of people for an almost arbitrary accomplishment but the foyer to the complex was just a cramped mesh of receptionist desks and hallways. Two lead off to the right, one for traffic each way it seemed. I took the right, presuming a crosscut would exist to the pass office and reluctant to push through the oncoming traffic. Voices from the ceiling warned of the end of the moving walkway but we all walked on marble tile. I caught glimpses of neon signs that advertised gambling, prostitutes, and free alcohol for time with either. Surely these were the outskirts of the complex, and the floor was moving backwards. I could tell this now by the Parque floor supporting the railing of a topless bar for little people. The patronage, that is. I shook my head, feeling dazed. I had almost certainly passed the pass office. The white Stetson hat on one of the men ahead of me now that I noticed it, spun and walked past me. Most of the crowd ahead was heading the other direction, in fact. I sat on a stool at an exposed bar to catch my bearings.<\/p>

\u201cHeroin and gay sex?\u201d asked the bartender.<\/p>

\u201cExcuse me?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou\u2019ll have to cross hallways for heroin and gay sex.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cEurotrash?\u201d<\/p>

He gave me a dirty look. \u201cWe don\u2019t discriminate between clientele in the complex, sir.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cCould you point me in the direction of the cut through to the other hall?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYes. Head up to floor above and open the service panel to the electrical box. Flip the large black switch and a walkway will extend.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThe second floor?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYes, immediately above us.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWill the panel be labeled?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNo. No sense in it. We all know the way. Stop for heroin and gay sex if your business here permits. They\u2019re quite enjoyable.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYes, I know. They just both feel so good.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cIndeed, sir.\u201d He wasn\u2019t smiling, but then neither was I.<\/p>

I climbed an ornate, wrought iron staircase and saw a room of little people playing billiards overlooking a strip show below. I felt elated at the sight. It was somehow settling to see where they\u2019d gone.<\/p>

\u201cWhich one of  you cupcakes will put your slimy fucking cunt up against a can of copenhagen that you know when Vigeta went supersayen?\u201d one of the midgets yelled to the girls below.<\/p>

\u201cShow some manners. That\u2019s somebody\u2019s little girl.\u201d I joined him in laughing.<\/p>

\u201cCould you buy me a drink?\u201d<\/p>

I arched my eyebrow, annoyed. \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with heroin and gay sex?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cFor niggers and faggots. I don\u2019t touch the stuff. So what about the drink?\u201d<\/p>

I punched him with enough weight to send him backstepping six feet bounce of the wall.<\/p>

\u201cPiss  on him!\u201d called one of the billiard\u2019s players.<\/p>

\u201cNo,\u201d I stated flatly.<\/p>

He scampered around me, fiddling with his zipper. \u201cBest time to piss on someone,\u201d he called.<\/p>

\u201cHas any one seen a service panel to an electrical box?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cAlong the side of table three.\u201d The midget had set his foot atop the other little person, the one who had so casually besmirched sucking dick and being black, and had begun to piss.<\/p>

The panel slid outward, not to the side. Outward as a drawer. Indeed, it seemed to be a drawer for four rabbits wearing small metal bead collars with tags. I grabbed one. \u201cFizzy.\u201d Then \u201cFuzzy.\u201d Then \u201cBig.\u201d I stood and kicked the rabbit drawer. The little person on the ground pointed and snarled. \u201cFizzy, Fuzzy, Big,  and Buzzy didn\u2019t do one fucking thing to  you. Not one of them.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cPrick,\u201d I muttered and I stepped over him, heading back downstairs. \u201cFor the last time,\u201d my voice boomed, \u201cI want somebody to use his head for five seconds and tell me where the pass office is before they have to take the animatronics out of what used to be my fucking head and put my walking fucking corpse in the ground.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cTake the tram, asshole,\u201d a man at the bar cried around his sandwich, jerking his thumb back the way I had came. I spun. The wall behind me was not the wall of a hallway but a line of plexiglass windows with railing on the ground. And plexiglass windows on the other side! The other hallway. \u201cIt runs between the walls.\u201d The sound of food exiting his mouth as he spoke seemed that it could not be my imagination.<\/p>

\u201cThanks,\u201d I answered hesitantly. \u201cI didn\u2019t see it.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cTram arriving at egress five. Departing for egresses six through thirteen.\u201d<\/p>

I stepped through the doors that opened before me and dialed Daphne.<\/p>

\u201cDo you always take this long?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cMidget trouble,\u201d I answered in a very strained voice. \u201cAnd four rabbits.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou\u2019ve been waiting your whole life to say that or you\u2019re an asshole.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI\u2019m an asshole, Dove.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cPlease just get out with calling me your little wifie poo or threating to hit me. These moods of yours. I swear, it\u2019s like watching two fourteen-year-old boys try to figure out how do dork each other for the first time.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cIt isn\u2019t always that simple.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cSet jokes up for the pass office. I\u2019m getting horny.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYes, Love.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cEgress seven.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThank you, Love.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou\u2019re late.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cLove?\u201d My tone was strained again.<\/p>

\u201cThe pass office will think so. Splash your face if you get a chance. I don\u2019t think impressions matter but you can\u2019t be too sure.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cHave you been having a bit too much fun with the cocaine?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI\u2019m not paranoid. Not entirely. Thee people always seem to have a motive, or a reason. Whichever is worse, likely, if there is a difference. And thank you for not stopping for heroin and gay sex. I think that was some sort of test.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWe\u2019ll get you in here by lunch. How\u2019d you know about the heroin and gay sex?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cEverybody does. They just both feel so good.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWill I want to exit to the port or starboard?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cGod, you are such an absolutely an asshole. Starboard, ass pirate.\u201d She clicked off.<\/p>

Passing a display of a woman getting her picture taken with Amenhotep in his sarcophagus, I strode confidently through the front door of the pass office. \u201cHail and well met,\u201d I greeted the desk worker with an outstretched hand.<\/p>

\u201cGood morning, sir.\u201d She replied, eying my hand mistrustingly.<\/p>

\u201cYou\u2019re young and pretty and likely think I want to do more than fuck you.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNo, sir. Thank you for drinking from the fountain.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cFuck yes. I deserve to be thanked by someone like you.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWhy are you here.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI try not to think about that shit too much. Keeps me young, or so I like to think.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cVery witty, sir. Why are you here?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI need something you have.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWe\u2019ve been over that.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cMy wife requires one of your fine passes. So do I, I believe.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI cannot. You abused our rabbits, sir.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cFuck the worst excuse I ever heard. I require passes.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cIt\u2019s not an excuse, sir. Fizzy, Fuzzy, Big, and Buzzy are very special to the proprietor.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThen why fuck are they kept inside a wall in a poolhall for midgets?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThese are things I’ve learned not to ask.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou\u2019re cute. I do want to fuck you.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cHappily. It’s part of my job.\u201d She rose and motioned to a body scanner.<\/p>

\u201cNo need.\u201d I pulled out my penis.<\/p>

The receptionist disrobed and stepped inside the moving scanner, hands planted forward and feet back. \u201cWhy did you do that to the bunnies?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cIt\u2019s damned good to meet a woman who likes small talk. I wanted to.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWas there a reason you wanted to, sir?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cSir! I like the sound of that!\u201d<\/p>

\u201cSir?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYes, cupcake!! Call me sir!\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI require an answer, sir.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cGotta finish, angel baby.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cSir?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThe lying bartender.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThe bartender lied, sir?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYes!\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou lack permission, sir.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNo, no, God, fuck, no.\u201d The receptionist stepped out of the body scanner while I remained on its floor.<\/p>

She lit a cigarette from the pack on her desk. \u201cThat was oddly gratifying,\u201d she remarked, eyebrows furrowed. \u201cThank you. I\u2019ll have  the bartender punished, but I\u2019m afraid you cannot have a pass.\u201d<\/p>

I furiously masturbated my flaccid penis. \u201cI\u2019ll cum, Mommy. I\u2019ll cum.\u201d<\/p>

Her eyes narrowed. \u201cFine. One pass.\u201d<\/p>

I sighed.<\/p>

\u201cOne pass?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThank you, Mommy,\u201d I answered, my fist moving again.<\/p>

\u201cYou are so cute,\u201d she smiled and pulled something from a drawer that she placed on top of her desk. \u201cFinish.\u201d The door to the inner office clicked shut behind her.<\/p>

After finishing, I grabbed the pass from the desktop and another from the drawer, and left nude. Unsure the water from the fountain had worn off, I opted to walk the hallway rather than calling Daphne for an egress number. The hallway traffic moved in the right direction. A few short minutes later and I spilled out into the foyer. Daphne had called our car up and was inside with a pull. \u201cJesus God, most people think there six good lines to a gram.\u201d She sucked up two as long as the driver\u2019s seat was wide and I sat. \u201cBaby, that was half a sixteenth. I\u2019m going to start to think I\u2019m fucking a stripper.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou smell like cunt,\u201d she commented, twisting the pull and sealing it with a cigarette lighter.<\/p>

\u201cI had an encounter, but I wouldn\u2019t have gotten our passes otherwise.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cAnd you\u2019re not fucking me. Your dating me.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cDoctor\u2019s don\u2019t date women like you, Love. I\u2019m sorry. It just isn\u2019t done.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWe live together, Michael.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI lived with a girl in Tijuana when I was going to med school. I wasn\u2019t dating her.\u201d<\/p>

Daphne stared straight ahead for a moment and began blinking rapidly. \u201cOkay, let\u2019s go.\u201d She put on her sunglasses and stepped out of the car. A rolled over pad of pills passed between her and the valet.<\/p>

\u201cYou will find it in the glove compartment,\u201d he spoke in an austere voice befitting his height, age, but mostly his moustache.<\/p>

\u201cWe are ready to enter the complex,\u201d I announced to the concierge and held out our two passes.<\/p>

\u201cI\u2019m afraid not, sir. One of these is stolen.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou can\u2019t tell me that.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cSir,\u201d he began in a patronizing tone. \u201cYou would not have been given two passes.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThat was what you sent me to find.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cAnd you have interrupted the process with your theft. This complicates things, I\u2019m afraid.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cCould you at least tell us where to find something to eat? It\u2019s 2pm.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cAmenities are to the right as you enter the complex.\u201d He handed me one pass. \u201cYour lover may remain here.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWhat am I to do about the other pass.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cTry the office, sir,\u201d he said in the same tone.<\/p>

Convinced there was a better way, I took the hallway to the left. Fuck them, after all.<\/p>

\u201cGravity. Only two shillings, sixpence,\u201d a young man cried from the corner.<\/p>

\u201cWill you take a twenty?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cTwo shillings, sixpence or fuck your mother, sir.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cShe\u2019s not here?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cCan\u2019t help what can\u2019t be helped, now can I?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWhat will happen if I don\u2019t have gravity?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThere\u2019s nary such thing as a stupid question I\u2019m told, still it baffles me to see so many laid before me.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThanks, guv\u2019ner.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cGo with God, Padre.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cFaggot.\u201d I strode on.<\/p>

\u201cOne more moment, if you\u2019d care. I\u2019ll give you a can of gravity from my own pocket if you can tell me who shot JR.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cSue Ellen. Why?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cAre you sure?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNot entirely, no.\u201d<\/p>

I grabbed the can of gravity. \u201cChrist. Cracker?\u201d I flopped to the floor upon hitting it.<\/p>

\u201cGravity. Only two shillings, sixpence,\u201d he cried.<\/p>

Breathing was difficult, but difficult in a dreamlike way, as though if I got it wrong, it would all start again. I was rather sure this was not so. There was some commotion above me and the gravity hawker was led away. \u201cThis one has a pass!\u201d a voice yelled and someone was rolling me onto a gurney and I was wheeled down the hallway on the left. Fate is whimsical. I opened my mouth to comment and yammered obscenities instead. My head was clear enough to understand the words, but still I didn\u2019t stop  them. \u201cI\u2019ve gonna give it to you straight up in that ass about the demon, dopie. The demon on the ceiling at the steeple chase. What do you  think about when you fuck with your dirty ass?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou racist prick,\u201d said one of the men wheeling the gurney.<\/p>

\u201cCatch me up on the rebound on the med side, bro. Llello.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cMan, fuck this.\u201d He took off his white lab coat, tossed it to the floor, and walked off. \u201cThey don\u2019t pay for that.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cCome on,\u201d chimed the other attendant. \u201cHe has a pass. How bad can he be?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cFind out!\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWe\u2019ve gotta drop him at security.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNot me. Heroin and gay sex, then home.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThe just both feel so good.\u201d<\/p>

I was sitting upright on the gurney, wild eyed and high as a kite form the gravity comedown, when they wheeled me through the doors of security. \u201cIs this where I can get a pass?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThis is where they need to talk to you.\u201d<\/p>

A man in his mid-thirties, wearing glasses with stains on his striped, button-down shirt stood up from his desk to greet me. \u201cHello, I\u2019m Albert. You\u2019re comfortable? I can find you a chair or perhaps bring in the sofa from my private office if you\u2019d be more comfortable. Or we could even relocate. Let me know what you want. I try to please.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cAlbert?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYes, Michael?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cHow did you know my name?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI know everything about you, I\u2019m afraid. Quite too much.\u201d He tapped his head. \u201cYes, every little last bit of it. And may I say that you\u2019ve done a remarkable job at coping with the challenges you\u2019ve faced in life. A lesser individual would have fallen before the combine of adversity you overcame. Any lesser individual. Myself included.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWhy am I here, Albert?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWe\u2019ll talk. Get down, please. Would you like the chair or the sofa. Oh, I have a very comfortable desk chair too, the good kind with a back that bends independently of the seat. It\u2019s actually my chair, but you may have it. I shouldn\u2019t have. I don\u2019t want you to feel awkward for taking my chair. Do you mind if I smoke?\u201d<\/p>

I smiled. \u201cMay I have one, Albert? It\u2019s been that kind of day.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNo. They\u2019re mine. Just mine. Only mine. Always and always mine. Go! Sit in my chair and gloat about how superior you are!\u201d He sniffled, guarding his face as though I might strike him. \u201cMay I smoke please?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYes. Please.\u201d<\/p>

Albert stared at my crotch. \u201cYou know, my truck is out back.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cReally?\u201d I asked with a sinking feeling.<\/p>

\u201cYes, right out back, behind the complex. I could show it to you.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cIs there a pass in your truck, Albert?\u201d<\/p>

I burst forth from the complex an hour later. \u201cPasses! . . . .”<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The panel slid outward, not to the side. Outward as a drawer. Indeed, it seemed to be a drawer for four rabbits wearing small metal bead collars with tags. I grabbed one. \u201cFizzy.\u201d Then \u201cFuzzy.\u201d Then \u201cBig.\u201d I stood and kicked the rabbit drawer. The little person on the ground pointed and snarled. \u201cFizzy, Fuzzy, Big,\u00a0 and Buzzy didn\u2019t do one fucking thing to\u00a0 you. Not one of them.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1823,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_eb_attr":"","_vp_format_video_url":"","_vp_image_focal_point":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1822","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-writing","latest_post"],"rttpg_featured_image_url":{"full":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex.jpg",1536,1024,false],"landscape":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex.jpg",1536,1024,false],"portraits":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex.jpg",1536,1024,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex-150x100.jpg",150,100,true],"medium":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex-600x400.jpg",600,400,true],"large":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex-1200x800.jpg",848,565,true],"post-slider-thumb-size":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex-330x190.jpg",330,190,true],"post-category-slider-size":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex-330x350.jpg",330,350,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex.jpg",1536,1024,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex.jpg",1536,1024,false],"vp_sm":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex-500x333.jpg",500,333,true],"vp_md":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex-800x533.jpg",800,533,true],"vp_lg":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex-1280x853.jpg",1280,853,true],"vp_xl":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex.jpg",1536,1024,false],"vp_sm_popup":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex-500x333.jpg",500,333,true],"vp_md_popup":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex-800x533.jpg",800,533,true],"vp_xl_popup":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex.jpg",1536,1024,false],"kalon-pro-recent-post":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex-262x175.jpg",262,175,true],"kalon-pro-slider":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex-1400x507.jpg",1400,507,true],"kalon-pro-without-sidebar":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex-1170x460.jpg",1170,460,true],"kalon-pro-with-sidebar":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex-848x461.jpg",848,461,true],"kalon-pro-schema":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex-90x60.jpg",90,60,true],"woocommerce_thumbnail":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex-300x300.jpg",300,300,true],"woocommerce_single":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex-600x400.jpg",600,400,true],"woocommerce_gallery_thumbnail":["https:\/\/elaine.baby\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/complex-100x100.jpg",100,100,true]},"rttpg_author":{"display_name":"Fate Caudwell","author_link":"https:\/\/elaine.baby\/?author=1"},"rttpg_comment":1,"rttpg_category":"Conceit<\/a>","rttpg_excerpt":"The panel slid outward, not to the side. Outward as a drawer. Indeed, it seemed to be a drawer for four rabbits wearing small metal bead collars with tags. I grabbed one. \u201cFizzy.\u201d Then \u201cFuzzy.\u201d Then \u201cBig.\u201d I stood and kicked the rabbit drawer. The little person on the ground pointed and snarled. \u201cFizzy, Fuzzy,…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/elaine.baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1822","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/elaine.baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/elaine.baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elaine.baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elaine.baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1822"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/elaine.baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1822\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4032,"href":"https:\/\/elaine.baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1822\/revisions\/4032"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elaine.baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1823"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/elaine.baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1822"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elaine.baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1822"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elaine.baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1822"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}