Photos and Sound

I’m probably more addicted to selfies than the average person. I have so many and I’ll probably add to these as time goes by. A woman I met online first opened me up to dressing up. When my mother first saw me in drag, she said, “That is the real you.” I’ve learned since how much weight to put on words like those coming from your mommy. And so I became Mommy’s Little Sissy. I would have hated those words ten years ago, but once you understand what it means to be a sissy, you really feel quite at home with it if you are one.

In a more general sense, I like to think I have a “mixed sense of identity.” I’d like it to veer even more towards the feminine, but I need someone to push me into that I think. I would never get a sex change operation because I view transform the penis into an abscess as simple mutilation. Young guys like me quite a bit when I get dolled up. Women presume I’m gay, then they want me to be their BFF. Then they leave for another bar or something similar.

I just know that I feel more free to be who I am when I’m done up. There’s certainly another persona there and s/he feels much less constrained within me than Michael does. I feel like I might vomit in anxiety when I think of Lea guiding my journey through all of this, but I’d like nothing more. But I only ever think of her and I this way, with me as a woman, though I know she’s the only one who I’d let screw me without the feminization.